The Love Story of the Moon and the Sun
The greatest pleasures in life lie in the most startling epiphanies we have…I’ve had some memorable ones myself… like in 2010 when I realized I had no friends, or in 2017 when I realized that I didn’t know who I was, or the most shocking one in 2022 when I realized that I never experienced happiness… Each one of these moments was some sort of a turning point, a truth that I wasn’t ready for at first but then was grateful to experience.
An epiphany is as exciting as the thought of a roller coaster ride. When you look at it from afar, you think it’s gonna be fun. Once you get in and you’re waiting, you question your life choices and feel a dooming sense of dread…when it starts shaking you up and down, you close your eyes hoping for it to end soon, but ironically, once you get out, you have the audacity to say out loud that it was fun… That’s crazy right but it’s just in the essence of life to dread a blessing in disguise.
The latest epiphany was kickstarted by an angel friend of mine whose singing voice seems like a waterfall of liquid gold (a random but important fact). She simply suggested a book to me… at first I was skeptical, the book had a religious and spiritual tone that was very different from what I usually read (which is just the Harry Potter books, to be honest) yet she was convinced this book would change my life just like it changed hers.
Before getting to the title of the book and all the related questions you may have, let me give you a quick summary of the story: the book is a novel about a platonic love story in the 13th century. I am positive that most people don’t believe in the type of platonic love described in the book but I believe it’s possible since I experienced it myself. We just have to deconstruct all the definitions and pre-conceptions fed to us from different sources about love and create our own definition that works for us. People have long tried to unify definitions of emotional experiences but we all know deep down that we cannot all feel or react to emotions the same way. In the grand tapestry of life, we seek people whose values and life philosophies are similar to ours but deep down, we know that they can never be truly identical.
The book shares a set of rules about love throughout the story that are all surprisingly comforting to read. While you might have sensed or experienced some of these rules before, it feels so nice to find them eloquently and concisely described, so here are my favorite five:
“There are more fake gurus and false teachers in this world than the number of stars in the visible universe. Don’t confuse power-driven, self-centered people with true mentors. A genuine spiritual master will not direct your attention to themself and will not expect absolute obedience or utter admiration from you, but instead will help you to appreciate and admire your inner self. True mentors are as transparent as glass.”
The applicability of this rule to the world we live in now is “I couldn’t find a word that can say crazy scary in an appropriate fashion”. The world of social media that we live in has increased drastically our need for attention leading to many people becoming self-proclaimed coaches, influencers, consultants, or my personal favorite spiritual guides, etc… (I’m certain that at least one of them just popped in your mind). They all have this notion in mind that they are somehow wise enough to guide you through your life while their true nature is more self-centered than ever. That’s why it’s important to be careful when choosing your mentors in life. Find someone who sees you for who you are and sees your potential without imposing their ideology on you. What worked for them won’t necessarily work for you since there isn’t a one-size-fits-all secret formula that could change your life.
“Hell is in the here and now. So is heaven. Quit worrying about hell or dreaming about heaven, as they are both present inside this very moment. Every time we fall in love, we ascend to heaven. Every time we hate, envy or fight someone we tumble straight into the fires of hell.”
I don’t know if heaven and hell exist but for as long as I remember, humans have been controlled by the fear of hell and the promise of heaven. It seems that we forget how hellish the world we live in actually is. Wars, famine, destruction, disease, natural disasters, capitalism, etc… However, just like we find hell on earth, we also find heaven. I have carried hatred toward someone for a long time and I always felt that it weighed me down… But once I allowed pure love into my life and accepted the fact that I deserved it, I felt that the space left for hatred kept shrinking further and further… so let’s seek heaven on earth through love (no matter how cheesy that sounds).
“The past is an interpretation. The future is an illusion. The World does not move through time as if it were a straight line, proceeding from the past to the future. Instead, time moves through and within us, in endless spirals. Eternity does not mean infinite time, but simply timelessness. If you want to experience eternal illumination, put the past and the future out of your mind and remain within the present moment.”
The deeply rooted capitalism of our world has made achievements only worthy if they are bound by a time frame. While the message that “it is never too late” has been overused, I like how this quote describes time as running through us. All the time wasted on regretting the past and dreading the future is time taken away from the present moment. As an overthinker, you can’t tell me not to worry about the future, but this doesn’t mean I cannot put more effort into enjoying every present moment for the blessing it represents. Don’t forget that with global warming, our tomorrows are number so who cares…
“While everyone in this world strives to get somewhere and become someone, only to leave it all behind after death, you aim for the supreme stage of nothingness. Live this life as light and empty as the number zero. We are no different from a pot. It is not the decorations outside but the emptiness inside that holds us straight. Just like that, it is not what we aspire to achieve but the consciousness of nothingness that keeps us going.”
Another high-selling capitalistic idea is the concept of “becoming”. We all have to become successful, rich, beautiful, healthy, popular, and so on… But aren’t we someone already, someone who should be celebrated… once we are gone, it won’t matter what we become, if we lived a happy life full of love, nothing else compares. So let’s ask ourselves whether what we want to become is truly for us or an attempt to fit into a broken mold of societal and cultural expectations
“A life without love is of no account. Don’t ask yourself what kind of love you should seek, spiritual or material, divine or mundane, Eastern or Western. Divisions only lead to more divisions. Love has no labels, no definitions. It is what it is, pure and simple. Love is the water of life. And a lover is a soul of fire! The universe turns differently when fire loves water.”
After reading this, I had to pause for a moment to understand the impact of the last sentence. I kept picturing how water and fire, or the sun and the moon, look so beautiful when combined, despite how unlikely their fusion is…This rule is open to interpretation so I will leave it to your imagination.
The amazing internal journey that I’ve experienced reading “40 Rules of Love” by Elif Shafak is unprecedented. Therefore, I hope you take the time to read it because I promise that there is something in store for anyone who reads that book. Thank you, Elif for guiding me to my own definition of love.
