Why new year resolutions rarely work?
It’s safe to say that we love fresh starts. No matter what the context is, we enjoy clicking the reset button and getting a new chance at making things “right”. That’s why it is commonly believed among many cultures around the world that when that clock strikes midnight, something will eventually be different. It’s a tightly wrapped illusion that we created to give ourselves hope that things will be better. Now that the world has been in mayhem for the last two years, we need this hope more than ever. It usually manifests itself in the form of new year resolutions which are defined as personal goals and objectives that if fulfilled will provide us with a great deal of satisfaction. While this sounds like a great tradeoff, it often leads to disappointment.
Nothing is crueler than false hope. When that fictitious glimmer comes from us, the blow is even harder to take as we realize that we put ourselves in that situation. Every year, countless people set high expectations for the upcoming year and feel determined to reach them. They decide to join a gym, start a diet, quit smoking, read more and any other “impressive” changes in the eyes of their entourage. When we make new year resolutions, our focus is mainly directed outwards rather than inwards. We try to think of the most challenging and spectacular changes that will turn heads around all year long instead of listening to that suppressed voice deep within that might be saying “Well I don’t care about that”. It’s easy to give up when we realize that we’re putting effort into something we don’t care about.
However, let’s simply assume that we are truly in touch with our inner selves that we know exactly what we want to accomplish leading us to set an appropriate list of resolutions and year-long objectives. Even when we manage to do that, there is a myriad of pitfalls that could stand in the way of making those resolutions a reality. When deciding on these goals, we have to stay grounded and realistic. Sometimes we desire changes that we aren’t ready for which leads to the following question: Is my consciousness ready for a behavior change?
It’s not always the case as I have to be completely convinced deep down that I’m ready for a specific step before taking action. Certain changes have the potential to impact our life on every level which means we can’t take them lightly. We have to consider all the possibilities and truly be sure that we will be able to handle the aftermath, be it positive or negative.
At the same time, personal goals require the greatest and most valuable soft skill, self-discipline. Setting your steps, finding your rhythm, deciding on the most effective pace, rewarding yourself with every minor accomplishment, taking time off when needed, and endless more challenges that come with acquiring self-discipline. When you set an ambitious resolution for yourself without having your personal accountability system, you can’t sustain it for more than a few weeks. We usually look at the entire process as a marathon with a deadline. Our resolutions aren’t a given assignment but rather a personal decision that we need to take our time with. If our goal was to write a book in the upcoming year, for example, it’s still satisfying if in that given timeframe we only write a few chapters. It’s not a race against the clock so let’s stop following a pressuring timeline and start checking our hour glass.
The most annoying part of the concept of resolutions lies in the cultural framework of January 1st. When I was trying to lose weight, I remember constantly saying to myself, “I will start the diet next Monday” and if that Monday I had an outing or a party, I would postpone it until the next week. We have an unconscious obsession with starting a time 0 while change should happen immediately. If you want to achieve something, you have to start working on it instantly to not lose the fire that ignited in you that specific desire. Waiting till the time is chronologically attractive will only waste your chance and stand in the way of using that strong motivation to get the job done.
Finally, it’s important to remember that within a transitional time like New Year, your social media feed might become toxic. So if you’re also a little tired of reading the endless posts from many people claiming that 2021 was a transformative year despite all the challenges, rest assured that they are not a reference in any way. If you’re even more exasperated by those Instagram reels of 2021 recaps that show endless beaches, parties, trips, and seemingly unforgettable moments, rest assured that it’s all, if I may quote Biden, malarkey. Those people seem to live on another planet that isn’t going through a global pandemic and a climate crisis.
When I started 2021, I was putting behind me the worst year of my life. Therefore, I remember promising myself that if I’m alive and mentally stable by the end of 2021, I would be grateful. Surprisingly, the past year served me all sorts of lessons. Without even realizing it, I tried endless new things, learned new skills, and experienced beautiful memories mainly from the comfort of my own country. I usually need to be traveling and jumping out of crazy things to feel excited, but I was able to take care of my mental health and that is truly the biggest achievement I could wish for. Therefore, I hope that when setting your goals for this unpredictable year, you remember the importance of listening to yourself, your body, and your mental health needs before focusing on your career and academics as the latter shouldn’t exist without the former.
