Why I’ve had enough of your Toxic Masculinity?
If you think about it for a moment, you can easily notice how toxic masculinity is causing the misery of countless people. Unfortunately, this topic isn’t spoken about enough in our patriarchal society. While misogyny and sexism are still apparent in our lifestyle, one wouldn’t imagine that men are also victims. Some of us choose to share our pain while others are still intoxicated with the mundane definition of masculinity. The following video embodies the problem as it is in the Arab World and, more specifically, Tunisia. If you think about it, each part of the world suffers from this problem yet in different ways. What some people fail to understand is that toxic masculinity ends up affecting women consequently. This is an issue that affects society as a whole and thus must be discussed urgently. After watching this video, I was inspired to share my thoughts about an issue that rarely gets talked about.
What is masculinity or manhood? This is a question that we must answer before we proceed to understand the repercussions of this issue in our daily life. Masculinity is defined as the “set of qualities or attributes that characterize men”. The issue here is that throughout history, the expectations of what a man should be, have always been rigid. Men are tough, physically strong, emotionless, ruthless, and proud. Our society took all those terms to the literal sense and started shaming guys who lacked one or more of those attributes. The examples in the video embody the issue in Tunisia and the Arab World. Men must look a certain way, speak a certain way and be interested in certain things. If I had a penny every time someone was surprised that I don’t like football or combat sports…But before we get to the true definition of manhood, let’s try to comprehend the severity of the issue.
First, toxic masculinity promotes the suppression of emotions. Due to sayings like, “men don’t cry,” we are led to think that men must never show weakness. However, can a human being live in this time and age and not feel stress, depression, or sadness? Does the world expect us to be only angry as it’s the only emotion that agrees with the concept of masculinity? That’s ridiculous to think about. The consequences of suppressing emotions are truly dangerous. When we neglect to admit those feelings exist, we end up rejecting the help of people who can sense our deeply buried pain. This eventually impacts the mental health of men while preventing them from expressing themselves to their close ones. Thus, many guys end up struggling to get intimate with someone on the emotional level as they are terrified of being vulnerable with them.
The suppression of emotions leads us to the second problem, which is the encouragement of violence. With all that built-up pain and suffering, men started feeling frustrated and resorted to violence for relief. In case of conflict, men are never encouraged to resolve the issue through eloquent communication. Rather, they resort to their fists as it impresses their entourage despite the consequences. Relying on violence became a sort of pride to many men. Who didn’t hear a man in their life say “Oh yeah I beat the s**t out of him” like it’s an accomplishment? However, when some men are not violent by nature and only resort to dialogue in conflict, they are shamed for lack of manhood. Violence starts becoming the norm for the simplest of issues.
Finally, the cherry on top of the cake is the misogyny that toxic masculinity spreads like wildfire. Through the image that society perpetuates of men, you end up attributing the traits of strength to this part of society. People start imagining that men are strong, and women are weak. This thought alone has endless negative repercussions on women. Men start feeling entitled to interfere in the personal lives of women and make decisions for them. They start treating them with a superior tone. They start justifying their actions due to their gender while shaming women for the same actions hence the propagation of double standards. Consequently, they picture men as the only fit part of society to rule and lead nations.
At this point, let us identify the true meaning of masculinity. But do we really have to? Isn’t each guy capable of determining what makes him comfortable and acting based on that? If we understand that violence and misogyny are not the constituents of manhood, we are on the right path to fighting patriarchy and maybe one day eliminating it.
Fortunately, a certain part of society is aware of this problem and isn’t afraid to mention it out loud. Many men have been shamed for even expressing such a concept. However, one must not lose hope as some influencers like SAMY are not afraid of taking the heat and speaking up about this issue. If we have people within our generation with the needed understanding and tolerance, the future might get brighter!
